Question? Answer.

Step into my personal Wayback Machine.  Year: 1981  Month: June

FRIDAY, 2:30 PM 
"What would you like to write about?"  The editor, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Anything, really.  What do you want me to write about?"  Me, eyeing suspiciously back.
"Well, we do get just about everybody playing here, you know.  Either the tour is on their way to Cali and has to stop in Colorado.  Or coming from the left coast.  A logistics thing, you know.  And everybody loves playing here.  But you know that."  He's now glancing at my resume.
I want to tell him 'No, I really don't know.  I have no clue.'  But I didn't offer that information.  I had just landed in The Rockies a few months back and answered an ad for an entertainment writer.  I wanted to be a music critic, whatever that consisted of.  I shift my weight uneasily from one foot to the other, standing awkwardly in the middle of a noisy, congested newsroom.
"I see you come from Minnesota.  Pretty crappy weather.  But the Twin Cities attract considerable talent."  He still glances at my resume, flipping to my portfolio.
"I've only done freelance work for my local newspaper and a few music rags.  Pretty much on a volunteer basis.  Get a pass to the show, write up the review.  You know."  I'm trying to sound like him now.  I hope he knows what a freelancer goes through.  A mere pittance is tossed your way if your story is published.  If it fits into the publications' objective.  If it doesn't require too much editing.  If it's interesting.  If it's factual.  A boatload of 'ifs'.
"And you're from high binge Minnesota?  Where's that?"
"Hib. Een.  Northern Minnesota."
"Oh, Dylan country."  A rosy glow now illuminates his pasty pate.  "How is he these days?"
"I, I really don't know."  Wince.  "I haven't seen him lately."  A weak grin splashes my face.  I shift back onto the other foot.
The editor, Sam, looks at me in a totally different light, as if this connection will assure quality writing and profound insights into the musical world.
"Rock.  Roll.  Jazz.  Blues.  Folk.  We try to cover it all here in Boulder."  He neatly tucks my resume and published stories back into its folder.  "Audience Magazine has been informing the Front Range for over ten years now, you know."  He looks at me with brown, beady eyes.  "Tim Weisberg is playing our Boulder Theater this Saturday."  Today is Friday.  "We'll comp you one ticket.  We need a concise review, no more than 750 words and no less than 400.  Do you shoot?"
"Not really.  My camera is a little old," I lied.  I didn't even own one.
"No biggie.  We all know what Tim looks like.  We might even have a recent file pic, you know."  He eyes me again.  "Deadline is Monday.  Noon.  See you then."
I then hear myself ask "Should I get an interview?"  "You're on your own on that one."  Sam extends his hand and I clasp this soft, pudgy appendage with my bony, now-clammy one.  I then hear me say "Thanks.  I appreciate it."

SATURDAY, 1:30 PM
Mr. Weisberg was somewhat of a musical black hole to me.  I did remember his LP with Dan Fogelberg, "Twin Sons of Different Mothers" ('78), a tepid and limp recording with the hit single "The Power of Gold".  That track wasn't too bad but the rest was a snooze fest.  The late-night TV test pattern was more invigorating.  But surely, he had more to give.  I went to a local record store and started nosing around the pop/rock/light/airy/dreamy/sappy section.  Jackson Browne.  Loggins and Messina.  Bread.  America.  I asked the proprietor if he knew of any Weisberg's livelier albums and he gave me a stunned look.  "Ya, I think he jammed with The Raspberries.  Very eclectic."  Big Ha Ha.
And then it hit me like a sack of Strawberry Alarm Clocks.  I need to interview him to cover up for the boring show he's about to flay me with.  Yes, a very deep, profound and revealing insight to a true troubadour of our times.  An iconic and sincere instrumentalist with his, ah, what does he play, oh ya, the flute.  His endearing melodies melt the hearts of maidens and brings ogres to their knees.  Or something like that.

SATURDAY, 7:30 - 10 PM
But, this part you won't believe because I didn't believe it either:  He totally destroyed the place.  Set Boulder on fire with a set of unbridled power and musicianship.  The songs I knew nothing of.  His band, the same.  What album(s) he played from, ditto.  He pranced and danced and sulked and swayed across the stage effortlessly with a gleaming flute in his hands.  And he rocked.  He made his amped and reverbed flute snarl and bite.  Then he had two (two?) at once, a small one and a larger one.  Then he stomped down on an effects pedal, squalling with wah-wah and distortion.  Yowza.  All wireless.  He made Ian Anderson (Tull) sound tame.  At least for this night.

So, I had to immediately change my storyline.  He wasn't this softee.  He wasn't a bore.  He was a wild man.  And I suddenly had my story.  And I still needed to interview him.  Ask him who the hell is he, really.  What is his next LP.  Who's in the band.  What's the tour like.  But I had to get that interview.  I sprang into action with no credentials nor experience nor skill nor idea of what I was doing.  I found myself talking to a big dude by the side of the stage, telling him "I'm a writer for Audience Magazine.  I need an interview with Weisberg."  Him motioning me to another big dude.  Him telling me that nothing backstage but maybe tomorrow I can come to his hotel and interview, what was that mag, Audience, sure, tomorrow.  Noonish.

Yes.  I'm in.

SUNDAY, 11:00 AM
Tomorrow came quicker than I anticipated.  I made the 50-minute drive from Littleton to Boulder with some interview questions and imaginary responses keeping me company.  I arrived at the historic Boulderado Hotel with an air of excitement and trepidation.  As I approached the front desk, there was some commotion in the hallway.  A tall, lanky man with cutoffs and sweat-soaked tank top, hair wet, tennis shoes scuffed.  I immediately recognized him as his entourage escorted him up the stairs.  Weisberg.  I almost thought of going after him with pen and paper in hand, yelling questions that I needed answering.  But they were gone.  Sheepishly, I hung out.  Walking around the lobby, wondering how I could introduce myself without being a nuisance.  After 45 minutes, I asked the stodgy front desk guy if that was indeed Tim Weisberg.  "Tim Iceberg?  Who's that?"

SUNDAY, NOON
I rambled around the Pearl Street Mall, a hip, outdoor, four block, pedestrian retail center, on a crazy, sun-soaked day, thinking about my next move.  Walking past posters of bands and events attached to light poles, I just happened to see one for a celebrity/charity volleyball tournament.  And who was one of the celebs?  You guessed it: Weisberg.  It was running until two today just outside the flatirons of Boulder.  I could lurk around the hotel and spring out of the bushes.  Naw, that wouldn't be cool to get thrown in jail.  I had a story to write.  I had an interview to land, somehow.  And I had to pretend to be professional about this.  I saw a display of Audience Mag, my mag rag, and grabbed one.  This was my calling card, my badge of honor, my employer.  And I was back at the Boulderado confronting a younger, less-stodgy fellow.  Laying the paper in front of him, I told him I write for this particular piece of informative entertainment and I would like to talk with a certain Tim Weisberg.  For a very important story.  Firm.  Direct.  Professional.  "Who?  Tim Iceberg?"

SUNDAY, 2:30 PM
Sitting in the bar, waiting for Iceberg, uh, Weisberg, I felt like a writer.  Wasn't I supposed to get drunk and churn out magnificent renderings of life?  Wasn't I supposed to demand a stronger drink and then storm out, cursing everybody in my path?  I twirled the cubes of my Coke with a red plastic sword, Maraschino cherry impaled.  Yes, I might have to say 'darn' a few times and demand another cherry.  I might scowl a bit.  I drizzled back to the front desk, where, could you believe it, who was there?  Weisberg.  I almost tripped at him (too much caffeine and sugar), regained my composure and presented myself.  Sunburned, hair sagging, sand attached to his ears, he invited me up to his room.  We could talk for just a few minutes as he showered and changed for a dinner engagement.  I froze.  My cherry quivered inside my stomach.  That's OK, I said, I could talk to you later.  No time, he said.  So,  I followed him up the old, quaint, mildewed carpeted stairs, trying to squeeze in as many questions as I could.  He couldn't (or didn't want to) hear me.  Too much ear sand, I guess.  Once inside his room, he immediately shed his shirt and started with his cutoffs, when, I, temples throbbing (way too much caffeine), legs wobbling (not enough food), decided I had to put money in the parking meter and I would be back in a flash, maybe after you showered. 

By the time I had collected myself, it was too late.  Weisberg was gone.  Drats.  Doggone it.  Darn.  I even said the F word: fiddlesticks.  I was downtrodden and defeated.  Why hadn't I hung around and got some quotes?  Just a couple.  Like "My wife of 22 years is.........." or "My three kids love........"  or "I play the flute because..........."  I admit, I was scared.  My first big opportunity, lost.  But wait.  I had another braindrizzle.  How about a phone interview?  Huh?  Sounds good to me.

SUNDAY, 8:30 PM
"Tim here."
 "Hey, Mr. Weisberg.  It's Mark from Audience Magazine.  Sorry about earlier today.  I left you a message at the front desk.  Oh, you didn't get it?  I had an emergency.  Ya, my mom.  Thanks, she's OK now.  I was just wondering, with your busy schedule and my, my emergencies and all, how about answering some questions over the phone.  Oh, you're ready to leave for the airport.  Oh, we could maybe talk at the airport?  Uh huh.  You'll have some time, OK.  You just have to change out of your tux, where?  At the airport?  Uh huh.  In the airport bathroom?  I see.  Not enough time to talk anywhere else.  OK.  I'll see you then."

I sank back into my couch and poured another Coke.  I'm out of cherries.  Maybe they'll have some at the airport.