NaCl or not NaCl? That is the Question

Himalayan Pink

As any normal (or abnormal) high school attendee can attest to, the Periodic Table of Elements was a thing of beauty, complexity, frustration, indifference, fatigue, anxiety, fun, pain or just plain annoying.  So we all (norms and abbys) should know the symbols Na and Cl, right?  In my case, I would think Na was part of ShaNaNa and Cl was cluster.  So, obviously (obvious as the hair in my nose) it means to cluster (a small group or bunch of something with Bowzer in it) the members of Sha Na Na and demand a new album.  "Not so fast," I'm told by a lurking smarty-pants named Laura.  "That's not what it means.  I really hope you aren't serious."  Serious as a heart attack, Miss-I-know-science-and-you-don't.  OK, it sounded stupid.  I'll take another stab at it.  As soon as you-know-who leaves the room.  I google NaCl.  Hmmm.  The combo of sodium and chloride forms salt.  Ah yes, it all comes crashing back to me.  The reason why I flunked Chemistry.  All those letters hodge-podged together with no real meaning.

So, on we go to the real story: salt.  No, not that crummy Angelina Jolie as Jane Bond spy movie that left a bitter, acidic flavor in my mouth with a hint of anchovy that required countless goblets of purified, desalinated spring water.  No, not that Salt.  But the food enhancer.  The Laurel to pepper's Hardy.  Edible salt is produced by evaporation of seawater or brine from sources like brine wells, salt lakes or sweaty glands (I made that last one up).  The history of salt is quite a long grinding story beginning, supposedly, in 6050 BC.  As in Chemistry, I had a hard time with History.  How on Earth (Geography) can we figure out how old the process of briquetage was, used first by the Neolithic people of the Precucutani culture (Social Studies), unearthed at an archeological site in Romania?  This process was extracting salt from salty spring water and the Cucu thrived because of it.  Why?  They needed something to put on their fries (Home Economics).  This was a dangerous alliance and after a spike in population (Statistics), the demise of these poor Cucus was imminent.  All they had was salty water.  And salty fries.  Here is my outrageous but worthy theory as to why these people died off:  their arteries hardened like the Bonneville Salt Flats. 

The religious aspects of salt are quite intriguing also.  Did you know:  In some ceremonies, bringing salt to a housewarming or wedding is essential.  I presume that most foods are tasteless and rice is too expensive.  Did you know:  In Japan, the Shinto religion uses salt as a ritual purification for Sumo wrestlers.  That must be where throwing salt over your shoulder for good luck comes from.  And a little salt in your opponent's eyes never hurts.  Did you know:  For the Wiccans, salt is their symbol of the element Earth and it's used to cleanse areas of harmful or negative energies.  I don't know about you fellow non-Wiccans, but the areas I clean usually don't require salt.  And the biggie:  Jesus, in the New Testament, referred to his followers as "salt of the Earth".  The Apostle Paul encouraged Christians to "let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6).  Poor pepper was not even mentioned.

Designer salt, as I call it, has been the rage in fancy-shmancy restaurants for sometime now.  Oooh, should I have Murray River Flake from Australia with my wallaby?  How about Aderwood Smoked Salt (Pacific Coast) on my smoked salmon?  Or Black Lava Kai (Hawaii) on my black bean and pineapple burrito?  This stuff sounds pricey, too.  Probably coming to a black market street corner near you.  "Yo babe.  I seez ya got some chicken in your shopping bag.  Youse need some Red Alae Kai to accent its flavor.  And it got some of dat iron oxide youse gals need.  Or how about some moist Fumee De Sel here.  It's a real bargain."

Recently, salt has been making some noise in the health arena.  High blood pressure.  Ulcers.  Cardiovascular disease.  We've heard it before and we'll probably hear it again.  The culprit is the processed foods and the high levels of sodium.  Even too much of designer salt isn't good for you.  What sounds better, though?  Hardening of the arteries from Morton's iodized table salt or Fleur De Sel sea salt?

"Salt is the only mineral we eat in its direct mineral form", says Mark Bitterman, author of  "Salted: A Manifesto On The World's Most Essential Mineral."  He is also a selmelier or salt master.  For me, it's back to the salt mine.  I'll be waiting for that new Sha Na Na album.

Global Salt Output 2005